Who controls you? Do you practice SELF-Control?

Self-Control:  Two simple words – yet two words which, in application, have the power to build or the power to tear down – the power to harm or the power to heal – the power to lead or the power to fail in leadership.

When facing the question, “How well do you maintain self-control when things go wrong?,” I am immediately reminded of Paul’s words to the Galatians, when he writes about the fruit of the Spirit.  If the Spirit of God indwells us, then we will exhibit the fruit of the Spirit’s work.  Self-Control is one demonstration of His working in our lives, and according to James, one application of such work is through our use of our tongue.  To tame the tongue is show self-control. In leadership, this is absolutely CRUCIAL. 

According to Oswald Sanders, “The leader who loses control under adversity forfeits respect and influence.  A leader must be calm in crisis and resilient in disappointment.”  In leadership, there will be times when things go wrong, when the best laid plans simply blow up, and when the leader is prime to be shown a failure.  It is those moments where true leadership is exhibited.  I want to be a leader who excels in those moments – I want to be a leader who leads his people calmly, confidently, and resiliently in those opportunities.

During my first summer directing FUGE camps, I had the opportunity to lead a staff of 21 young adults.  Our staff ranged in age from 21-30, and many were in different life stages, had different personalities, and quite frankly had different goals that summer.  However, God had given me the great privilege of leading and directing them.    Like any summer, I hold on to so many precious memories of what God did.  I also have many memories of where I failed at being a good leader for my staff.  One evening, we as a staff had simply dropped the ball.  We did not execute how we said we were going to execute, and I was not happy.  I was disappointed.  However, what disappointed me more then and now was how I responded to my staff.  I was supposed to lead my staff – I was supposed to pull them through that disappointment.  However, what I said probably cost me more respect and influence.

In the midst of addressing the situation and circumstances, I said, “You guys are making me look bad.”  I immediately knew that I had dropped the equivalent of a F-bomb.  The looks back on their faces said everything I needed to know.  I shouldn’t have said that.  More importantly, I shouldn’t have THOUGHT that.  Leadership is not about the leader.  True and honest leadership is about taking a people to a place not getting the leader somewhere.  The fact that I thought that at all, the fact that it was in my heart said way more about my crummy heart than it did about their performance. 

What I’ve learned through the process and what I am still learning is that self-control is not something we can manufacture.  Self-control is truly a fruit of the Spirit of God working in us.  As the Gospel becomes more real in our lives, the Spirit of God continually transforms us through the Gospel, and our lives begin to reflect that truth.  As a leader, if I am going to be calm in crisis, resilient in disappointment, and self-controlled in adversity, I need to believe the Gospel, love the Gospel, and apply the Gospel with the help of the Holy Spirit.

To Eat Or Not To Eat....

Those who know me know that I like food.  I like to eat.  As a kid one summer at our lake house I went as far as declaring, “Food is my quest.”  Since then I’ve been on that quest of finding God’s creative flavors in almost anything put before me.  The thing about eating though is that if you eat more calories than you burn, weight gains is actually the quest you are on.  In the winter of 2012 I had ballooned to a weight that I, nor my wife, was happy with.  So, I had to make a change and make some hard decisions.  How does one with an epic quest for food suddenly curb his appetite and begin shedding the pounds? 

Needless to say it was a process, but one totally worth it.  I still long for the scintillating feeling of food causing my taste buds to explode.  I still have urges that drive me to eat.  Sometimes I give into those urges and make poor food choices.  However, knowing is half the battle.  In “Spiritual Leadership,” Oswald Sanders asks a series of questions to investigate leadership potential, and the first one he lists reminds me of my food lessons.  He asks, “How do you identify and deal with bad habits?”  He then says, “To lead others, you must master your appetites.”  I doubt Sanders was thinking about my quest for food, but the parallels are uncanny.  What Sanders is speaking to is the desires each person has. 

In our lives, we all have habits and lifestyles.  We all have urges that pull our attention, shift our focus, and perhaps cause to step off course.  If we are going to be effective leaders, we must identify these potential pitfalls and overcome the bad habits that prevent us from leading others well.  In the words of Sanders, we must master our appetites so that God can use us for His plan.  This world bombards us with advertisements, promotions, and other nonsense to try to draw our appetites to its offerings.  We must be diligent and discipline to keep focused on God and what He offers, especially if God has entrusted us to lead others on a daily basis.

Move

Leadership is all about moving people forward.  True leaders are in the business of moving others.  The test of leadership is how well one moves people forward; a lot of it depends on how far along the road the leader himself is.  It is insufficient to simply point the way - a leader must walk before and lead others - otherwise no one is following and he is not a leader.

President Truman once said, "A leader is a person who has the ability to get others to do what they don't want to do, and like it." Simply put, a leader moves people who otherwise would rather not move.  In our world, there are many people who like the idea of movement, who think movement is good if not critical.  However, there are few people willing to move.   Our world is in desperate need of strong leaders, strong SPIRITUAL leaders who have the gift to move people toward God and toward making disciples.  We all have an immense potential to move those around us toward God or away from Him.  May the impact we leave be one of leading the way toward Christ.

To Lead, One Must Serve

Where have all the good leaders gone? Why does a leadership void exist?  How do I develop new leaders on the college campus?

Such questions continually weigh on my mind.  As a college minister, I am very interested in learning more about leadership and developing future spiritual leaders.  As I look to this world, there is clearly a lack of good leadership.  Poor choices abound; chaos rules; our country is divided – these are themes prevalent in the news on a nightly basis.  I see the same thing on the college campus.  We need spiritual leaders to be raised up and make a difference. 

The next several writings will come from a book I have been reading lately called, “Spiritual Leadership: Principles of Excellence for Every Believer” by J. Oswald Sanders.  Hopefully, as I chew on some of Sanders’ words, we will both benefit and grow in the area of leadership.

In Scripture, one of the clearest signs or prerequisites for spiritual leadership is servanthood.  The world bristles at such a notion, but Jesus continually demonstrated and taught that true leadership is exemplified in giving yourself in service to others rather than trying to find a crowd to serve you.  In Mark 10:43-44, Scripture says, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be a slave of all.”  This stands diametrically opposed to the world, which screams self-promotion, dictator leadership, and build “your kingdom.”

Even in the Old Testament, we see God identify Moses as God’s “servant,” not His leader.  If you want to be a spiritual leader in God’s economy, being a “servant” is the requirement.  A servant of God is dependent on the Spirit of God to be used by God.  A servant of God is concerned with the approval of God, not man.  A servant of God is content being not noticed rather than being arrogant and self-advertising.  A servant of God is empathetic to the needy and seeks to meets needs where he can. 

Leadership is about serving – serving the great I am and making much of Him rather than trying to make much of yourself.

Summer Reading Series: Book 2 - Toy Box Leadership

As the summer kicked off, I had the opportunity to sit down over coffee with a friend at CCU who works in the Student Activities office.   As we were discussing several things, specifically how I thought I should lead BCM in the coming days, I made a comment that reminded Nick of a book he had just read.  He asked me if I had read it, and when I told him I hadn’t, he then explained an analogy the book uses to talk about the same principle I was communicating to him.  After our conversation, I was impressed with how clearly Nick remembered the example and I immediately setout to buy Toy Box Leadership and add it to my summer reading collection.

TBL is a fantastic read, both for nostalgic reasons and also because there are several incredible leadership lessons one can learn.  From connecting through relationships to leading groups of people, the authors do a great job of relating childhood toys to critical leadership pointers for anyone influencing people.  I would recommend this book to anyone seeking to learn more about how to lead people well.

Here are some quick pointers from each chapter:

Chapter 1: Lego bricks teach us about RELATIONSHIPS 

Building begins with connecting

Chapter 2: The Slinky Dog teaches us about steering VISION 

You must pull, and then be patient

Chapter 3: Play-Doh teaches us about MENTORING

Molding people through proximity

Chapter 4: The Yo-Yo teaches us about CREATIVITY 

Letting go is paramount

Chapter 5: Mr. Potato Head teaches us about COMMUNICATION 

The right face at the right time matters

Chapter 6: The Rubik’s Cube teaches us about ETHICS 

Ethical leaders make the right moves

Chapter 7: The Rocking Horse teaches us about EFFICIENCY 

There can be a lot of movement, but not much progress

Chapter 8: Little Green Army Men teach us about STRATEGY 

We must value the setup and preparation

Chapter 9: The Lite-Brite teaches us about the CLARITY of our message 

We must illuminate what we want to communicate

Chapter 10: Weebles teach us about ENDURANCE and PERSEVERANCE 

Staying down is simply not an option

Summer Reading Series: Book 1 - Radical Integrity

One of the reasons I love the summer time in the campus ministry world is I get to take some dedicated time to read.  As I write that, it seems quite weird to me because I used to HATE to read.  In high school, I remember using Cliff Notes all the time, or better yet, in AP English, we had our own Cliff Notes in the two brightest students in class who ended up being Valedictorian and Salutatorian.  I would just sit and listen to Emily and Ashely explain all the "fascinating" things they learned in reading and then regurgitate those on tests.  It served me quite well for the time being.  In college, I didn't read much either mainly because I didn't enjoy it.  However, when it was time for seminary, I had to make a choice: learn to love to read or be miserable because reading had to happen.  So, now I love reading and I see incredible benefits in doing it.

So this summer I have chosen a variety of books from different field, subjects, and authors.  Some of them might be beneficial for you and some might not be, but hopefully these writings might help clarify some of my thoughts in reading and help spur you on to reading as well.

I have often heard the famous quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, "When Jesus calls a person, he bids him come and die," and I also know of his work, "The Cost of Discipleship."  However, I have really not learned much about the man himself, and so I wanted to read a book this summer that would scratch the surface of Bonhoeffer.  So I picked up, "Radical Integrity: The Story of Dietrich Bonhoeffer" by Michael Van Dyke.  This was an incredibly easy read, and in fact once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down.  I read it in a couple sittings, and it was very enjoyable learning a brief biography of Bonhoeffer's life.  Van Dyke walks the reader through Bonhoeffer's maturity and into his ministry calling, and it is quite easy for the reader to feel the weight of the decisions Bonhoeffer has to deal with.

I would recommend this book as a surface level introduction - it does quite well orienting one with the general history of Nazi Germany and how Bonhoeffer lives, or rather dies in the context of the Holocaust.  One also sees how Bonhoeffer was dedicated to the cause of Christ while living in the midst of a moral dilemma and trying to make sense of faith while experiencing injustice.  As I read the book, I began to continually try to make sense of injustices happening today all across the world.  Additionally I was struck by how Bonhoeffer viewed "nominal Christians" or those who simply identified with the religion culture but had no relationship with Christ.

Van Dyke writes of Bonhoeffer's thoughts, “Berliners were in the mood to hear sermons that them feel better about their Fatherland, but they were not always receptive to messages that made them feel bad about their sin.  They wanted a religion that made them better Germans, not a religion that forced them to confront their inward need of a Savor.”(Page 66) 

And again, "To make an analogy, Christianity for them was like bull fighting in Spain.  They entered into the spirit of the crowd (or the culture) without understanding what they were doing, or why they were doing it.  Such people were living according to a mythological reality not a biblical one." (Page 174) 

Many people would label Bonhoeffer as a man of God - however, according to Van Dyke, “Bonhoeffer would not have called himself a man of God.  He was a man who loved God and tried to serve Him, but he was also a man who made mistakes and at times questioned God’s purposes.” (Page 204) 

As long as we live in this world, we too will make mistakes and sometimes even question God's purposes.  However, like Bonhoeffer and so many others who have gone before, we must walk by faith, trust God, and follow Christ even if it means death because to live is Christ and to die is gain!

A Trip Down Memory Lane

I am not a sentimental person, except when I am.  I admit that sounds like I don’t know what I am talking about, and well maybe I don’t.  I’m really not that sentimental, especially when compared to my wife or even her or my family. However, there are some things that really make me nostalgic – and once I begin to venture down memory lane, bring on the sentimentalism. 

This week I had the opportunity to attend a BCM director’s fellowship at the University of Georgia (my alma mater).  The quick back-story is that UGA was not where I initially wanted to attend college.  In fact, of my last three choices, it was dead last, yet in God’s perfect providence, it was not only the right place for me, but also it became my second home.  As I drove on campus 15 years after I initially did as a wide-eyed freshman, it was incredible to think about what God has done in my life and what all I have been able to see and do over the last few seasons of my life.  In addition to not being that sentimental and maybe for fear of it, I am often guilty of not “stopping to smell the roses.”  I think I have a very bad habit of not celebrating things, and in that habit I often act like the Israelites and forget how God has worked.

So in a tip of the cap to being sentimental but more importantly a thank you to the Lord for what He has done in my life and allowed me to live through, I wanted to stop, ponder, and remember.  Maybe it’s time for you to as well.  In your busyness have your forgotten what your life used to look like?  Have you forgotten the blessings God has poured out on you?  I know it’s something I am guilty of and this moment of nostalgia has birthed a thankfulness in my heart.  Here is a list of words that capture some of the memories.  These are just words and it is impossible to list everything, but each represents so much more than just words. 

Small Groups, Wesley Foundation, BCM, Canoing the Chatuga, Camping, Men’s Retreat, Football Games including SEC championship, GA-FLA, Ice Storms, Broken Ankle (Twice), Changing Major (5x), Youth Intern, Dorm on Fire, a couple golf rounds, Basketball Games, Braves Date Night, Move-in help, Downtown loft, then a house, then a townhouse, and then an apartment, hole in head, Scotland Mission Trip, European Adventure, Yellowstone National Park summer missionary, Substitute Teacher, Men’s Soccer League, Southwestern Seminary, Discovering Pappasitos, Uncle Julio’s, , Fuge Camps (Philly, Mobile, Greenville, Asheville), Spin 360 ministries, Texas Rangers Games, some golf rounds, Valet Job, Revival Preaching, Trip to Alaska, Trip to Hawaii, Greek, Hebrew, Turning Hearts Tour, Kennesaw State University/SPSU BCM intern, Beach Reach, Bear’s Best, Master’s visit, Anderson University, MARRIAGE, obtained debt, paid off debt, Key West with Mosaic, Boston, Seattle, Beach Reach again, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Hawaii, Puerto Rico Cruise, Mediterranean Cruise, Biggest Loser, Crossfit, Myrtle Beach move, bought house, sold house, bought house, Crossfit Competition, Pelicans game, infiltrated cult for speech, push starts for the Honda, bought two cars, officiating weddings, salvation of friends, judge for Mr. AU, BCM formal at UGA, West road trip with Elliott, Price is Right, Steinmart, Crossword puzzles is class, all-nighters, 9/11 and aftermath, Chicago, NYC, Red Sox games, secret church, final four in NOLA, 121 community church, mammoth caves, Texas Adventure and Wichita Falls, LA trip, academic team, Green Hills golf course, 4^th spectacular, ski trips, electric peak hike, death of nephew, death of friends, separated shoulder, bear encounter, DNows, discipling guys, braces, marriages of friends, The Bridge, meeting and loving my new framily, sending missionaries all over the world, students becoming disciple-makers…..

The list honestly can keep going, but one thing is certain.  In good times and bad, God is always good. He is always faithful.  He is AWESOME.  The last 15 years have been incredible not because of the cool experiences or things I have been able to do.  They have been incredible because 17 years ago I heard the Gospel preached at Brookwood Baptist Church and God radically changed my life.  He has continued to change my life and will continue to do so.  God does this through people, places, and things and my recent visit to UGA reminded me of so many of these!